I found it

After Baba passed, we started looking at pictures. One of the many directives he gave me in his last days, and in the last 10 years, regarding his funeral was that he liked those picture shows that they did these days and he wanted one at his funeral.

I think I went into autopilot once he was gone and wanted to just stay busy. This was a great task for me. We went through lots and lots of pics at home. Old ones from when he and Nani were dating, ones of their wedding, of daddy when he was little, then me. Maybe the best ones were from his Marine days, looking all handsome and sure of himself at the ripe old age of 19.

I couldn't find my favorite picture. I had it at home, in Dallas, but I couldn't find Nani's copy and although the core group sent many other awesome, great favorites, this one alluded us. We put all the pictures together, 50 in all, for the show. It turned out well.

I was so happy to get home and see this picture. It just sums him up perfectly. The denim pearl snap shirt and jeans. The cap that someone gave him with mesh in the back so his head didn't get too hot. The little grin he always had when he was happy or someone forced him to smile. The glasses and cell phone in his front pockets and the expandable band watch. I have no doubt he was wearing his favorite black tennis shoes from Walmart.

Mostly, his hands are the focal in this picture. Those big ol' meat hooks were Baba. They represented who he was. A big man, a hard worker. He passed them on to Dad and they were my favorite part of him too, apart from the mustache.

I think I am just starting to realize that he is gone for good... at least from this world. I know I'll see him again, but I really, really miss him now.