My baby birthing story

(this took a long time to write because I started it then got distracted... you know, with a baby and all... but I'm glad I started it when I did because I'm already forgetting!)

Well, as many of you know I really, really, really wanted to have a "natural" birth. To me, that meant no c-section, no induction, no pain killers, just a good ol' fashioned vaginal birth. Jay and I took birthing classes - the Bradley method - to prepare ourselves for that sort of birth. Well, it didn't all work out how we had planned or hoped but it all worked out well anyway. We do have a healthy baby boy after all!

First, I will say that if you do want this kind of birth make sure to have a birth team (doctor, midwife, whatever) that supports your wishes. We did not. I didn't want to change doctors because I felt the need to stick with my doc since she had treated me when we miscarried before, and she had treated me for my PCOS while we tried to get pregnant with Lincoln. In hindsight, I wish I had found a doctor that I had 1. been more comfortable talking to and 2. didn't think natural childbirth was absolutely butt-stupid crazy. Don't get me wrong, Dr Moser is a great doctor! She deals with high risk and multiple births all the time and has a great track record with them but our philosophies just didn't line up when it came to birthing babies and having options. She wanted to schedule and medically manage every aspect and I wanted to be a hippie and let it just come when God said so!

So I didn't have a perfectly healthy pregnancy. The Bradley Method is really geared towards the "typical" pregnancy, one free of complications and medical issues. I did great till the end when I found out I had Gestational Diabetes. Besides being a pain in the butt, Gestational Diabetes makes for big babies. So as soon as I found out that I knew that my doc would be pushing for an induction. We let our wishes to not be induced be known and she agreed to let us go till 39 weeks before inducing, then thankfully, she was booked that week so we scheduled for my due date, which would put me right at 40 weeks. I felt good about that. I was so certain that I would go into spontaneous labor on my own I didn't even worry about the induction too much. Well, I didn't go into labor despite my best efforts. I had walked, sat on the birthing ball, squatted, pelvic rocked, even had sex! And no labor, just a few random contractions here and there and I did loose my plug in the Albertsons bathroom following a fabulous dinner at Trulucks. They moved my date, but we went to the hospital on the 7th at 7pm to check in to be induced. We had our bags packed, all our stuff ready to go and even had a thank you note and brownies for the Labor and Delivery nurses.

We checked into the hospital that night and they checked me and I was still only about 2 cm dilated and about 30% effaced. Let me say that its confusing because everyone who checked me told me something different... the doctor and all 984,000 other people who checked me all gave me different - drastically different numbers. The plan was to give me Cytotec that night, a prostaglandin medicine that is actually developed to treat ulcers but that some doctors use to "ripen" the cervix. I DID NOT want to have this drug. I had read very scary things on the Internet about it and it made me very nervous but I felt like I didn't really have a choice and I didn't want to P.O. my doc by making a stink about it so I was a good patient and did what she said. Let me say that it is very uncomfortable when they check you and when you are in the hospital it seems like everyone that works there comes in and has a go at it(hence the 984,000 people.) My nurse was very sweet and got me all settled in then tried to put in my IV and missed twice - ouch! Then she brought in another very nice nurse who finally got it in. I hate IV's!!! (Another reason that I will totally go to a birth center next time.) So after the paperwork was done, and the IV was in, they put the medicine in me - on my cervex - and we tried to sleep. I had never stayed in a hospital overnight and it was not so fun. They came in quite often to check my vital signs and the bed is hard. Poor Jay had to sleep on an awful chair-bed thing. Not to mention I was all excited and nervous about having this baby finally!

So in the morning at about 6:30 my nurse came in and started my pitocen. I had some contractions but nothing very painful or memorable. I was getting excited and hungry. I forgot to mention that the doc gave me instructions for before I checked in to the hospital. Those included administering an enema on myself and not eating after 3pm so I had the biggest Whataburger, fries, drink, and lemon pie you ever saw at 3 then, ahem, did the other thing which was awful and I will never ever ever do again. Another reason I want to go to a birthing center.

Anyhow, the doc came in at 7 and checked me, said I was about a 3, still just about 50% effaced and that he was "very high" meaning he had not dropped at all. I was bummed! That was what the evil medicine was supposed to help with and it seemed like it had no real effect on my stubborn cervix. Well then the party started, she broke my bag of waters, and before she could, ahem, remove her hand from my lady parts, the contractions started.

I'd like to take a minute to say here that everyone lied to me. They told me that contractions feel like menstrual cramps and the LIED! Yes, the pain is in the same area but the pain is different and more intense than any cramps I have ever had, and I've had some bad ones. I don't think that is normally how they start out - but the pitocen ramped them up right away.

So my "active" part of labor had started with a bang! I immediately began having contractions every 1-2 minutes and they lasted for a minute each. For those of you that are unfamiliar with this fun stuff, that means that most of the time a contraction started as one ended. It was like they were all best buddies and couldn't stand to be apart for a second! Even the nurse commented on the intensity and frequency of the contractions. I had told Fatma that I wanted to go as natural as possible. That was kind of funny considering nothing at all about my labor was "natural". I was hooked up to an IV pole with my water broken, hooked up to a fetal monitor and an internal monitor too. The internal monitor measured the intensity of my contractions and the baby's heart rate. It was incredibly uncomfortable too... I had hoped to spend some time in the shower relaxing during labor, to walk around, to get on a birth ball, and all that was not an option due to all my attachments.

Fatma was more supportive of my wishes to not have any more drugs and simply told me that if I decided I wanted an epidural that it would take her about 20 minutes to get me "ready" for it from the time I requested it. That included getting 2 bags of fluid in me and giving me a nausea medicine. I could tell that she thought I was a bit nutty for not wanting the drugs right away but I was sticking to my guns! I asked for the birthing ball because I was really uncomfortable lying in bed and wanted to sit up. Because of my internal monitor she suggested the rocking chair. I moved over to it and was more comfy. Jay was an awesome coach. He was very calm from the beginning and very supportive. He started rubbing my feet and legs during each never ending contraction. He moved to my shoulders and head from time to time and never stopped being my cheerleader.

I did good for quite a while. I had my eyes closed most of the time and kind of went into myself. I knew I couldn't fight the contractions because that would only make it worse so I concentrated on keeping my whole body limp - including my face. My big fear was that I would wear myself out with the labor and be pooped when it came time to push. After learning so much about the stages of labor in my class, I was shocked to find that I felt like I had jumped right into transition. My contractions were right on top of each other and I was nauseous right from the very beginning. I kept thinking that I was doing well and that with all this intensity there must be great work being done to bring my baby down and out. I think Jay was surprised how relaxed I looked. We also get several comments from nurses and from the doc on how relaxed our room was - we had classical music playing - Jay had made me a play list.

So about noon Dr Moser came back into check me. I had not been checked since that morning when she broke my water. (This did surprise me since the previous night it seemed like someone was waving their forearm up there every 10 minutes of so, but I digress.) So they made me get back in the bed to be checked and WOW it hurt. Because my contractions had no breaks, she checked me during one and that really hurt bad. She said I had made progress and I was thinking GREAT! I BET ITS TIME TO PUSH!!! Then she said, yes, you are about 3-4 cm dilated, 75% effaced, and at a 0 station. I wanted to die. She kept feeling around and the pain got worse, much worse once she was done. It didn't help that I was exhausted and now felt hopeless because of my slow progress.

She left and I said to Jay, "I think I want the drugs". We had a deal that if I asked for drugs I had to wait 15 minutes to make sure. I was afraid he would be disappointed in me but he was very understanding. I had gone a long time and not gotten very far and couldn't continue without some relief. Even as I write this I am bummed that I didn't get to have him without the epidural but hopefully next time I will... and without the other drugs as well.

So we told the nurse and she got me going, and it turns out she had lied. It took her an hour and 20 minutes to get me the epidural and by then my carefully constructed relaxation plan was starting to crumble. I was having trouble keeping my focus during contractions and that made the pain worse. The doc finally came in to give me the epidural and it was quick and painless. They numbed my back before putting in the big needle and it was completely painless compared to the contractions, and in fact, I don't remember any pain from the epi at all. I laid back down and within about 10 minutes was completely pain free.

Now I failed to mention earlier that my favorite place had been in the bathroom. For some reason I was much more comfy on the potty than just about anywhere else but they wouldn't let me stay in there with my monitor unhooked and iv pole to drag around. Now that I had the epi, the nurse put in a catheter because I could obviously not get up anymore that the bottom half of my body was numb. That wasn't bad because I was numb, but it did hurt later.

After all was situated with my catheter and epi, I fell asleep hard! I slept for about an hour and a half I think. The epidural made my legs feel like what I imagine a teddy bear would feel like if it was alive. They felt warm and furry. I could still feel pressure with each contraction, but no pain. They did have to keep turning my pitocen up after the epi because my contractions slowed down and lessened in intensity.

Soon after my nap my mom and pop, and Jay's parents showed up. They each came to say hello then went and waited in the waiting room. Jay and I took another nap. It was kind of boring waiting with nothing to do and I was still sad that my birth plan had gone so completely out the window. At 5 pm Doc came back and checked me. I was convinced she was going to try to c-section me because I hadn't progressed. But to my surprise she said I was complete! Awesome! Now just another couple hours of pushing and he would be here!

So the doc starting breaking down the bed and getting me ready to push. The nurse came in and pretty soon we started. The doc was in a rush to get to a dinner at 3 forks (something I did not care at all about) so we got right down to it. I started pushing with my contraction and they said I did good. I had been really nervous about not knowing how to push correctly - the doc told me to push like I was pooping so that is what I did! I had my legs up in stirrups and the nurse was on one side and Jay was on the other. With every contraction I would grab my legs and push forward holding my breath for a count of 10. Then I would quickly breath out then go right back into another count of 10. I did this 3-4 times each contraction. Pretty soon Jay said he could see hair! I was shocked! It had only been about 10 minutes and there was already hair! Wow! So within 10 more minutes, at 5:20pm, Lincoln came into the world. It was amazing! All of the sudden there he was, all slimy and BIG!

Doc let Jay cut the cord and then they put him in my tummy, he was so beautiful and perfect - I couldn't believe it! I didn't even notice that he was all goopy. He had a lot of Vernix on him and the nurse rubbed it in when she took him to the little warmer. Jay started taking pictures and the doc started sewing me up. I had a 2nd degree tear and needed several stitches, I don't know how many cause I was too busy staring at my darling baby to ask. I also missed the placenta! I delivered it pretty quickly after he was born but didn't get to see it. I know it is weird that I wanted to... I was just curious! After she weighed him, 8lbs 11oz, she wrapped him up and gave him back to me.

He was amazing, his eyes were open and he was quietly looking around the room. I stared at him and he stared back. I was able to breast feed him then and he did a great job taking to the boobie. I fed him for about 20 minutes and Jay and I just stared at him! I think we were in shock a little that we have a baby!!! He ran out at some point to show our parents a picture of Lincoln on the camera. I didn't want everyone to come in right away because we wanted a little family time. After I got done feeding, we invited the Moms to come in. Everyone loved him of course, and we all agreed that he is the most beautiful, smart baby ever!

Soon after that they had to take him to the nursery to be bathed and to measure his length. I did not like that they took him but Jay and I had already agreed that Jay would stay with the little monkey. So Jay went and watched them give him a bath and they brought me food... awful food, but I didn't care. Finally I got moved to my new room and they brought my little guy in and we settled in... Jay went and got me Burger King cause I was still so hungry and he's a great husband.